Yesterday was a pretty long and tiring day. First I had to get to work early for a meeting, so I left the house by 6:10. I had a ton of testing to get done so I could finish report cards this weekend. My day was filled with having to keep my students quiet so I could test, which is always tiring. My plan was to stay late and get things ready for next week, but at 2:00 I got a text from Rob "Luke highly contagious have to take him to the ER now." As always Liz Hague came through and took my class so I could see what was going on. The doctor called and Luke's lab work came back, he has a highly contagious bacteria known as the C DIFF virus and we were told to take him to the ER to start antibiotics. Liz kept my class so I could go and meet Rob at the ER. Turns out C DIFF is a result from all the antibiotics Luke has been on for the pneumonias. If we had took him in a few days ago when he was so sick they probably would have hospitalized him, but because Luke's body seems to be fighting the bacteria now they gave us an RX and sent us home. We have to stop his amoxicillin, so now we have to monitor the C DIFF and his breathing closely. If either seem to get worse we need to take him back to the ER immediately.
It was a rough day simply because I worry so much about Luke and all his little body endures and I worry about my students. Luke is such an amazing trooper but it is frustrating that no matter what we do we can not seem to get him healthy. Then I feel so guilty about leaving work so much. My students and peers rely on me to do my job and do it well, yet I am constantly having to bail for an emergency. My first grade team and administration have been incredible this year and they all agree my family comes first, but that doesn't mean my students aren't depending on me. These kids have it so rough, for many school is the only constant stable and safe place they can be. The guilt of the working mommy goes both ways. I never want to let down my family, but I also don't want to let down my students, this is my constant battle.
Once again I see the people God had surrounded me with so that I am able to function and live my life. Mine and Rob's family saves me at home, while my first grade team and administration saves me at work. God had this amazingly intricate plan that makes it so that I can follow this crazy plan he has for my life. I don't think the constant guilt will ever leave but thankfully the appreciation I feels surpasses the guilt :-).
It was a rough day simply because I worry so much about Luke and all his little body endures and I worry about my students. Luke is such an amazing trooper but it is frustrating that no matter what we do we can not seem to get him healthy. Then I feel so guilty about leaving work so much. My students and peers rely on me to do my job and do it well, yet I am constantly having to bail for an emergency. My first grade team and administration have been incredible this year and they all agree my family comes first, but that doesn't mean my students aren't depending on me. These kids have it so rough, for many school is the only constant stable and safe place they can be. The guilt of the working mommy goes both ways. I never want to let down my family, but I also don't want to let down my students, this is my constant battle.
Once again I see the people God had surrounded me with so that I am able to function and live my life. Mine and Rob's family saves me at home, while my first grade team and administration saves me at work. God had this amazingly intricate plan that makes it so that I can follow this crazy plan he has for my life. I don't think the constant guilt will ever leave but thankfully the appreciation I feels surpasses the guilt :-).
Shannon, my prayers are with you. I believe you are doing all you can do and I understand why you feel guilty, but you can only do what you can do and I am totally amazed constantly by your strength through everything. I love you.
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